darkest side

2007, was an extremely upside down, jetcoaster-like year for me. Closed by these last 3 months terribly nightmare situation here… Hhhmmmmfff…. My last year resolution was: being ikhlas… So, I think I should accept it, ikhlasly… halaahh…

This 2008, Bismillah…

I will start it by going to the doctor and laboratorium, getting my complete blood test. Checking my cholesterol, fat, kidney function, liver function, SGPT, SGOT, diabetic, haemogoblin etc.  I’ve done it for the last 2 years because I realize "we are what we eat". And me, since I got "living healthy" for my 2006 resolution, I start considering about my health and check it regularly. Besides chewing is my middle name…huahehhahee… Alhamdulillah, I have latest "positive" result, means my score was in a secure number for those stuff.

My resolution this year should be 100% change. Firstly I plan to leave this comfort zone. I guess it’s time for me to move on. Even this comfort zone is getting more comfort for me, at least for me myself, at least for the next 6 months, at least for my experience. But unfortunately it’s not "healthy" anymore. For me, for my family, for our future…

But I don’t know. I find it hard. It’s not that easy, at my age…  I don’t know. But i keep trying, always give it a try. Who knows ?

Then secondly, I decided to make a little bit compromise. I need to be MELTED for a while. Get melted with everything, everyone, everybody, to every single thing here [ actually I always do that, but this time I need to be re-melted ]. So it could be change into a ‘healthy’ one for me.

Until one day, [ hopefully ] Allah gives me His light, guide me to something special. Until I find something new, better, healthier, prospectively.

But if it’s not, I guess I should make up my mind. At least I will get a better offer. I believe I get the best offer, ever. Being a mom. Yes, nursing my 2 lovely grown-up kids. Being a real mom.

*****

At least that 2008 calendar can figure my off-duty out… *blink*  

So, Bismillahirrahmanirrahim… Welcome 2008 !